The Scouting
by Enukid
Summary: Do the Girlie Scouts hold the ultimate secret to WORLD DOMINATION? There's only one way to find out, but it comes at the price of dignity...


The Scouting by Anna Frohling  
rough copy  
Sunday afternoon. Another rain, thought Zim. And didn't he himself say things couldn't get any worse? He stared at the horrible,BURNING acid through the window. Even though he was now coated with a thin shell of paste/napkin meat, it still made his lime flesh crawl. How could those impudent, monkey-brained meat-leggers stand it without proper protection?  
He sighed, a human trait he had picked up. A leathery hand met the windowpane and rested on it. This rattling, thin sheet of burnt sand was all that seperated him from the world- the squalling ball of filthy greens and blues the inhabitants called earth.  
The shortest of a species where height was the essential, he had been abandoned by his own kind, dumped on an unknown 'planet x'. His spare companion, a gift of pity from the almighty tallest, a GIR. So devoid of intelligence it made even the most rudimentary of tasks seem as complicated as calculus.  
Abandoned. Treated as unimportant as a Callnowian secretary.   
They would see. they would all see the wrong of their ways! He would be supreme ruler of Earth-and all the universe! Head of Impending Doom 2! Treated like the god he would become!  
Now, if only there was a way...  
***  
My name is GIR I don't know what the G stands for but anyways I was watching TV when I saw the coolest thing ever almost as cool as cupcakes It made me want to jump up and down so I showed ZIM it "Lookie lookie lookie!," cries GIR as he collapses from lack of air.   
***  
I turned my tiny head as I heard the 'whumpf' of GIR collapsing. Setting him back on the chair, limp as a human 'rag doll' I glanced towards the 'Tee-Vee' as GIR called it. Ever since the landing on Earth, GIR had become obsessed with the little black box. I didn't know what it was meant for, but it was very pretty. It was even prettier when you turned it on. It was projecting images of the feeble minded humans' offspring in uniform in a color similar to my spceie's own skin. Several images of them were displayed of the humans, on monkeybars, selling cookies, helping the elderly and weak cross the road. Then-a disembodied voice. " The Girlie Scouts, shaping tommorow's future today. Together we can change the planet!"  
Scarlet eyes widened, anttennae trembling, skin crawling, I turned towards GIR, still unconcious. Lying limp as the day he was givento me, as if he had just fallen from the sky.  
"Did you hear that?" I shouted, even though I was assured he didn't. " Change the planet! A corp dedicated to WORLD CONQUEST! We shall go forth and join their multitude, use their minions as my own, personal, MINION ARMY OF CONQUEST THINGIE! First the Girlie scouts, then the world!  
" Can, I come, too?" Startled, Zim spun around. " Wha...? Weren't you just asleep?"  
GIR stared blankedly with expressionless eyes. They might as well be dead to the world... "No. I tricked you. Heeheehee!"  
"Well, yeah, you can come, I don't trust you at the house alone after that 'incident'. Come. Let us don out disguises." Marching throught the queer little house, passing a poster that said 'I eat food'. How odd, humans were. Well, if the posters fooled them, it was worth the oddity. Finally they made it to the bathroom, the secret entrance to the lab. Two audible flushes, and they were gone.  
***  
Binoculars pressed against forehead, I surveyed the landscape. I pulled out my micro-recorder, slippery with sweat. " 3:00. No sign of Zim. After four hours of spying...er...OBSERVING, I concude that he is- asleep."  
And then...movement." 5:01. Suspect moving! Suspect moving! Preparing to follow." After readying the flash on my camera, I jumped off the roof and broke the fall with the bushes. I sprinted after Zim, hoping to find proof. " 5:03. Trailing Zim. Wearing disguise and trailing...what appears to be a dog...thing...behind him. Heading towards North Verde Lane and still moving..."  
Zim halted, and as the motion of turning his head was apparent, Dib rushed behind a mailbox. Panting, tongue dry,heart pounding,aching legs...I hope Zim didn't see me, he thought. He could almost feel Zim's eyes penetrating through the mail box and into his back. Calculating, deciding...  
"Boo."  
" Aigh!" I yelled as the green head lunged down from the top of the mailbox, barely six inches from my face.  
***  
"Scared ya", I remarked, grinning."I...I wasn't scared. It was the suspense, that's all..." "Pathetic HUMAN. Did you really think you could fool ME?" I said as I gripped his collar, lifting him a good half-foot off the ground. Dib gulped, flailing his arms, eyes searching wildly for help. Panic was a very human trait. It made them stupid. It made them act like sheep.   
"Now...let...let me down, Zim..." "And why should I?" I said through an ear-to-ear grin, showing my square teeth. Staring at him through contacted eyes, a sweat dropped down his giant forehead. A movement out of the corner of my eye.  
*click click whirr*  
"Arghh!" I said, blinded. As I tried to sheild my eyes from the flash of light, I lost grip and he fell. When he opened my eyes, he was gone.  
"Human go bye-bye", said GIR. It was the only sensical thing he had said all day.  
***  
end of chapter one  
  



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